Coldplay CEO kiss cam drama reminds us all of past heartache, says expert

If there's anything we can take from the viral video of the CEO being caught cheating at the Coldplayconcert it is that the internet can instantly blow up your entire life in seconds.

Last week, the couple were caught cuddling at the concert when they were shared on the big screen in Foxborough, near Boston. As soon as they were on the screen, they pulled apart and she turned around and ducked. While lead singer Chris Martinjoked: "Either they’re having an affairor they’re very shy."

No one could have predicted just quite how viral this clip would become. By the next morning, internet sleuths had tracked down the couple, their families, spouses and everything in-between. The worldwide manhunt revealed them to be Andy Byron, the married CEO of AI firm Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, the company’s head of HR.

READ MORE: Coldplay kiss cam recorder reveals real reason she filmed viral moment - 'I don't feel guilty'

The short clip has become unavoidable to anyone with phone and social media - but why is the internet so obsessed with two strangers having an affair? We speak to charted psychologist Dr Louise Goddard-Crawley on why people feel entitled to the truth.

Andy's name quickly became the most trending Google term in the US, and then the UK days later. Internet sleuths claimed since the scandal, Andy's wife removed his last name from her social media profiles. What's more, Astronomer released a statement confirming that its board of directors had launched a formal investigation, and on July 19, it was announced that Byron had stepped down.

Dr Goddard-Crawley thinks the worldwide obsession with the pair may be because we "cannot tolerate deception". She told Daily Mirror: "We have reacted as though the betrayal happened to us. And in a way, it has. Cheating touches a deep nerve. It reminds us of our own heartbreak, our own blindsides, our own moments of realising we were not being told the full story. So we project."

While we only caught a fleeting and private moment, followed by a strong attempt to hide it, the image was enough to make us all decide on what type of people Andy and Kristin might be. "In an instant, they became characters in a collective drama we were all too ready to cast: the villain, the cheat, the betrayed," the expert explained.

So why can't we tolerate deception?

Deception shows us the gap between how people present themselves and who they might actually be. In a world where appearances are everything, that gap is unbearable. We loathe the idea that someone could be pretending, especially if they are doing it convincingly. It threatens the illusion we all participate in.

The expert added: "Deception threatens our sense of safety. It undermines the trust we rely on in relationships, in the social fabric, and even in our ability to read the world. When someone lies or conceals something, it creates uncertainty, and uncertainty is deeply destabilising. We want things to add up. We want to know what is real."

It also "reactivates old wounds" as many of us know all too well what it feels like to be lied to, misled or made to feel like a fool. So Dr Goddard-Crawley suggests that seeing someone else doing the deceiving "touches something raw".

It challenges our identity, and we like to believe we are good judges of character, emotionally intelligent, able to spot red flags, so when people deceive, especially in ways that seem obvious once exposed, we question ourselves. And often, we respond by disowning that doubt and turning the anger outward.

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When it comes to the public reaction, and the outrage, the expert said there is something "moralistic" and "almost theatrical" about it. We have cast ourselves as judge and jury, and the public has decided the pair must be punished. We are "not just watching, we are participating, we are sharing, sleuthing, commenting," the expert added.

Something Dr Goddard-Crawley said has become "uncomfortably blurred". Where do we cross the line between entertainment and punishment? We live in an age where private indiscretions can become public theatre in seconds and there is a thrill in catching someone out, especially when it confirms our own values or suspicions. It makes us feel safer, superior, in control.

"There is something undeniably vicious in the way we have responded. This was not just curiosity. It was outrage. Disgust. Loathing. We did not just want to know more. We wanted to shame. That tells us something. About how deeply we have been affected," she said.

It tells us about how "little room we have for empathy" when it comes to deceit - and said maybe it indicates how desperate we are to believe "that we are better than others, when really we are harbouring a deep sense of injustice, hurt, and anger."

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